1. "…TraffiCopter 1’s got a report of a mattress in the left lane on I-55, so south siders are going to want to take an alternate route home tonight. Motorists are also being advised to steer well clear of I-44, where traffic is at a standstill thanks to a 14-car pileup that started when two commuters had severe heart attacks at the same time, resulting in an accident with one incredibly grisly fatality."

     
  2. ”(*Editor’s Note: there. We explained it, you goddamned nerds. Now go nitpick a Twilight Zone or something.)”

     
  3. seanhowe:

    (1) Walter Simonson, Joe Rubinstein, Pat Broderick, and Ralph Reese pose for Larry Hama.

    (2) Marvel Premiere #19, November 1974. Art by Larry Hama and Dick Giordano. Words by Doug Moench.

    The thing is, nobody told them to take their shirts off.

     
  4. Daredevil’s Karen Page may be the only character in fiction who can flunk the Bechdel test without ever opening her mouth.

     
  5. You might be in too deep, Otto. This is starting to look like just a sex thing.

     
  6. Sixties Comics: visual storytelling, written for the blind.™

    (Elapsed time: 3 milliseconds)
     
  7. Even diehard fans don’t know that, before he had a metal skeleton, Wolverine would just launch his entire arm bone at you like a goddamn javelin.

     
  8. Oh, Daredevil. You’re better than that. I can’t even talk to you when you’re like this.

    Seriously though, Capey, don’t shoot those people.

     
  9. The giant cosmic being is exterminating the Earth, and then I see the treads on the shoes.

    Who makes the shoes? Why those treads? Are they walking shoes? Walking on what? Does he change shoes? Is he part of the shoes?

    And just like that, I can never read comics again. Careful which threads you pull on.

     
  10. Deadpool 1.0

     
  11. danagould:

    Two years ago, I was performing at The Punchline in San Francisco, and Robin came to the show with our mutual friend, Dan Spencer.

    This particular batch of material was the first time I had touched upon my then still-fresh divorce wounds, and big chunks of it were pretty dark. The next day, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize. Whoever it was had obviously been to the show and knew my number, so I figured they would reveal themselves at some point and save me the embarrassment of asking who they were.

    The Mystery Texter asked how I was REALLY doing. “You can’t fool me. Some of those ‘jokes’ aren’t ‘jokes.” By now I knew that whoever this was had been through what I was enduring, as no one else would know to ask, “What time of day is the hardest?”

    He wanted to know how my kids were handling it, all the while assuring me that the storm, as bleak as it was, would one day pass and that I was not, as I was then convinced, a terrible father for visiting a broken home upon my children.

    I am not rewriting this story in retrospect to make it dramatic. I did not know who I was texting with. Finally, my phone blipped, and I saw, in a little green square, “Okay, pal. You got my number. Call me. I’ve been there. You’re going to be okay. - Robin.”

    That is what you call a human being.

     
  12.  

  13. Hey, I found my next profile picture!

    cpt-tightpants:

    Last week I mentioned how when Howard the Duck’s cameo happened in GotG, I had war flashbacks to the rotten latex corpse of the puppet from the 1986 George Lucas version that I had to work with a couple years ago…

    I FOUND A PICTURE

    image

     
  14. Ultimately, Earth was saved when the aliens proved no match for the Navy’s surface-to-air refrigerators.

     
  15. My spouse has made me mad, but never, like, clothesplosion mad.

    Have you ever been mad enough to explode all your clothes?

    Have you ever been written by Chris Claremont?